I don't know about you, but as a musician those two words get me excited. Playing a new venue in front of new people, major bonding time with my band mates, and just livin' the "rock star" life if only for one night. There's just three minor things to take care of:
- Get there in one piece
- Pull the show off
- Get home in somewhat reasonable shape
Oh yeah..making a little money would be nice too. But don't hold your breath for that.
Whether you're planning on being out for 3 weeks or just taking a one nighter somewhere, the planning and considerations are pretty much the same...it just tends to scale up the longer you're out. The longer you're out, the more prep time you need before you even think about loading the truck.
The first question you want to ask yourself is "why are you taking the gig(s)". If your answer is "to make money", then stop right now and seek medical help. You're obviously in the middle of a stroke and have lost all blood flow to the brain. The wonderful thing about road trips and touring is that the expenses magically grow to consume all profit (and then some). And the longer you're out, the worse it gets. Even if hotel is taken care of for you or you've lined up crash pads, the likelihood of doing any better than breaking even is pretty grim unless you've got a good guarantee from the venues.
Now, if you're really trying to "make it", and have something to promote then think of your touring losses as an investment in your future. Heck, even if it doesn't pan out you'll have some great stories to tell your grand kids!
I could write every week for the rest of the year on everything that could go wrong when you're out. But it's easier for me just to tell you that if you haven't seen it, watch "Anvil: The Story Of Anvil" and soak it all in. Everything that can go wrong on a tour does for these poor saps. And keep in mind, unlike "Spinal Tap", this is a true story.
OK, if I haven't talked you out of it by now, then apparently you're hell bent to do this. Let's get ready.
Line 'Em Up
Seems pretty obvious, but you need to know where you're going, right? If it's just a one nighter, that's pretty easy. But if you're out for several days, this is where routing really comes into play. You don't want to drive 300 miles out of your way for a gig that might net you $20 do you? No, you need to start planning this 4 to 6 months out. And if it's your first time in these clubs, you're probably looking at a cut of the bar sales or a dismal guarantee.
And speaking of money, this is one time where you absolutely want to get agreements in writing. I like a formal contract (and we'll address that in a future installment), but just having an email with date/time/compensation will help. Make sure you print all of these out before you hit the road.
If the clubs are providing PA, make sure you understand what you're getting. For some clubs, that's everything. For others, they provide a "skinny" PA. In short, that means you need to bring your own mics, cables and stands. They provide everything from the snake on out. Personally, I like taking my own mics even if the club has 'em. I know what they sound like, and I know where they were last night.
Add 'Em Up
You need to have some idea what this trip is going to cost you. Are the venues providing PA and you're just bringing backline, or are you taking full production? How are you going to haul this stuff around? How many vehicles are involved? If I'm pulling a trailer in my SUV, then my cost just to go down the road is about 75 cents a mile (at today's gas price of $3.40). Figure at least $7.00 per meal per man (unless you're going to be in one location for an extended period, then go to the grocery store and stock up).
If you're selling merch, then that very well may be your main income stream. Make sure you mention that in your agreement with the venues. I've had some try to take a cut. Unless they provide someone to man the table, then they shouldn't get any part of that money.
Load 'Em Up
Here's where there's no difference between an over nighter and an extended tour. Take spares on everything!!! Have a contingency plan for any failure. What are you going to do if an amp goes down? A bassist could go direct, but that doesn't work for guitar. Take a spare amp..even if it's your "crappy practice amp". Trust me, it's better than having to cancel a show or doing the gig a man down.
I carry a Crate PB-150 that's normally for my talk box, but if my main amp went down I could have it patched in and running in under 2 minutes. Granted, I loose most of my effects, but I'm up and playing. Crate unfortunately discontinued these, but I still see 'em on eBay. Grab one if you can...it's really small, sounds pretty good for a solid state head, and it can get plenty loud. Heck, Felicia Collins (guitarist for David Letterman) uses one as her main amp! I typically see them for going for $75 to $100.
It goes without saying...wait, I am going to say it. Load up on consumables...strings, batteries, picks, cables (yeah, I consider them consumable), drum heads, sticks...everything you can. You don't want to have a gig in Notrees, Texas and need something only to find out that the nearest music store is 40 miles away and closes in 10 minutes. Even if the club is providing production, make sure you take extension cords. And for goodness sake, use that outlet tester to make sure what you're plugging into is wired correctly.
Plan For The Worst...It Will Happen
By far, the riskiest part of all of this is the travel itself. This is all common sense, but make sure the vehicle(s) are all in good working order. Check the air in the spare...a lot a people have been bit by that one. At least one person should have a credit card with a few thousand dollars available on it...you just never know. Emergency repairs, emergency room, bail bondsman...you gotta be ready.
Cell phones are a given these days. If none of you have one with GPS capabilities, then get a stand alone unit. In my touring days, we would drive 200 miles to the next gig, and then spend the next 3 hours driving around to find the damn club.
Share The Burden
Don't stick one person with all the driving (unless they really want it that way). Make sure at least two of you are unimpaired at any time there's an extended distance to cover. When you stop for gas, give the driver a break...the rest of you get off your lazy backsides and take care of the refueling, cleaning the windshield, and anything else.
Don't Be That Guy
When you're in close quarters, even your best friends can get on your nerves after a while. If some guys want to grab a nap (as long as it's not the guy driving), then let 'em. When the vehicle is in motion, that's not the time for horseplay or practical jokes...save those for the hotel.
Respect the vehicle you're in. If the owner asks you not to eat in the vehicle, then don't. Smoking...unless you're all smokers then no. Farting, on the other hand, is a male bonding thing and encouraged. If you have a female member in the band, play fair. Make sure she had a chance to eat a Slim Jim before the contest starts.
Travel Time
My bands hate me for this because it makes us leave earlier than they like, but for every 1 hour of travel time, I add 30 minutes of padding. So, for a 4 hour drive that would be 6 hours. And that's not even taking traffic into account. That takes care of fuel stops, breaks, meals, and the dreaded flat tire. People may be grumbling when you leave, but they'll get over it when you get where you're going early.
Do The Show
Once you get to the venue, treat it like you would a high paying private gig. Have your act together, and leave the drama in the truck. If you're working with a sound man, give him a stage plot, channel list, and monitor requirements. Some will blow it off, but most will appreciate it.
Since you're in new territory, make sure people know who you are and where to find you. Being an out-of-town band adds a certain mystique. Make sure you shake some hands on break, and don't miss an opportunity to sell a CD or get a name for the email list.
If you're on a multi-band bill, be ready to get on stage as soon as they say go. Wrap it up when you're supposed to, and then make way for the next band. Just because the band before you were dicks and slow to get off the stage doesn't mean you should be.
After? Party?
Once you're done and loaded up, you're doing one of two things...either heading home or to the hotel / crash pad. If you're heading home, make sure someone is wide awake and ready for the drive. My rule is if it's over 100 miles or we play until 2:00AM, then it's an over night trip. I've probably lost a dozen musician friends over the years because someone fell asleep driving back late from a gig.
If you're staying overnight, make sure everyone is clear on what time you're leaving the next morning. That way, if they party until 6:00AM, they can't say anything about leaving at 8:00AM. And have some common sense...don't wander off alone without telling anyone where you're going. You don't want to make the rest of the band come looking for you, because if you're not hurt when they find you, you will be shortly thereafter.
By the way, trashing the hotel room is so over now. Besides, if you're reading this you ain't making enough money to get away with it. BUT, if you do decide to throw a TV out the window...here's some advice that Tommy Lee gave me several years ago. "Dude...if you're gonna chunk the TV out the window, get a long extension cord first. It's a lot better if it's actually on when it hits!". And that's why Mr. Lee is such a great role model.
Extended Trips
Touring is hard on you physically. Don't make it harder than it has to be. When I was 20, I could eat McDonalds three times a day and brush my teeth with Jack Daniels the next morning. Not so much now. Remember to eat some real food every day (and that doesn't come in a wrapper), and know that water is your best friend. Oh yeah, orange juice without the vodka is pretty good too...you should try it.
Don't forget to plan for laundry days. You can spray your stage clothes with Febreeze only so many times before they try to walk off on their own.
Finally...take some time to enjoy what you're doing. If you're getting to see parts of the country (or world if you're lucky) that you've never seen, then stop long enough to take it in. You're getting to lead the life of a gypsy, take pleasure in that.
What Not To Bring
There are some things that don't belong in the trailer or the van. First and foremost, girlfriends / boyfriends. Unless they have a legitimate job in the band (my wife happens to be a kick-ass guitar and bass tech), then they're better off at home. If you're going some place nice and they have their own transportation to go do something during set up / sound check, then maybe. Most partners / significant others view it as a "vacation". It ain't...it's work. If they can't deal with that, then maybe you shouldn't be going on the trip to start with.
And here's where I'm going to sound like I'm getting preachy but this is the reality. There are certain counties in Texas (and throughout the south) where it's still 1972 and you will be pulled over if your hair is a certain length, you have a certain number of tattoos, or have the infamous "Gas, Grass, or Ass" bumper sticker.
Several years ago, I was detained in Three Rivers, Tx for 90 minutes because the Sheriff didn't like the "way I looked" (and told me as much). Don't tell me how I should have protested or anything else...I had a gig to get to. He finally let me leave after I heard him say to the dispatcher "well, if you can't find anything on him I guess I'll have to let 'em go".
Be careful about what you have with you. Remember what I said about respecting the owner of the vehicle? I've always asked that my band mates not bring any illegal substances with them (but a couple of 'em never listened...and I won't travel with them again). One person can cause the entire band a lot of trouble. This isn't a debate over the legalization or morality of recreational drug use...it's the way things work, like it or not.
Take Care Of Business...Every Day
Save every receipt. Log your mileage. If you can't turn a profit, and least make it a good write-off!
I don't have any desire to take off for a three month tour (unless I got a call from an arena level act). But, the occasional weekend trip is still a blast to do. Whatever you do, just do me this favor...get there and get back safely. Like I said earlier, I've lost enough friends to the road.
We touched on it this week, so it seems like a good segue. Next week, we'll talk about contracts, riders, and stage plots. What's realistic, and what is just self gratification.
Until then, keep
Ken
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